listen i understand mocking the ace “‘discourse.”’ most of the arguments are stupid and i mock them too. and i understand thinking it’s not a big deal, especially if u aren’t involved, but i have literally seen discourse blogs telling aces to drink bleach, to get raped, to slit their wrists, etc.
when the trevor project announced they were adding asexual education, and an asexual dialogue to their suicide hotline script, ppl protested it. they were more willing to let ace teens think they were broken and alone, than letting them know they aren’t freaks of nature. they were more willing to let ace teens kill themselves, than just add a single paragraph to a script. they were more willing to let asexuals be pressured into sexual activities they don’t want to do, because they don’t understand why they’re different and they think they have to change.
i’ve seen asexuality called “a toxic abyss,” a fake orientation, “special snowflake syndrome,” “nothing but internalized homophobia” and a cry for attention, “a stain on the community” and more.
i’ve been told “but ur too hot to be asexual!” when i come out to ppl. or that i couldn’t REALLY be asexual because i’ve had sex, and am in a relationship. i’ve had strangers (in most cases, non ace strangers) try to tell me i’m wrong about what asexuality is, and then redefine it themselves.
i’ve seen ace rape and abuse victims told that they deserved it, or that their trauma doesn’t count as acephobia because some stranger on the internet disagrees.
the minute anyone makes a post about their experience being asexual, it’s only a matter of time before it’s hijacked by non ace ppl trying to “put us in our place.”
we aren’t allowed to make positivity posts about how happy and proud we are to be ace, because then suddenly every mention of acephobia is a lie since clearly being asexual is a party.
we aren’t allowed to be depressed or negative about our asexuality, wishing our minds and bodies weren’t so complicated, because then we’re looking for pity and attention, which we don’t deserve.
we aren’t allowed to be angry when someone insults us or demeans our sexuality or excludes us from the community, because then we’re homophobic and attacking all non ace lgbt folks.
we aren’t allowed to feel scared for our safety or nervous about coming out, because “x group has it worse. not wanting to have sex isn’t the same.”
we aren’t allowed to feel set apart and ostracized by an over sexualized society and lgbta+ community, because then we’re all homophobic and slut shaming and equating all gay ppl to deviants, even though we never actually do.
and heaven help any non ace lgbt person who stands up for us, because their own community will be lightning fast at tearing them apart for their “betrayal.”
so like, i get thinking the discourse is stupid. it is. it shouldn’t be happening and i can for the most part at this point ignore it. but for a lot of younger, more influenced, confused and vulnerable aces, this is something they have to deal with everyday. this is something they see everyday. and it’s not as simple as “well just turn off the computer and leave” because for most of us, this website is the only semblance of an asexual community we have. i don’t know any other asexuals in real life. I wouldn’t know how to meet them (gay bars\clubs aren’t really the average asexual’s scene, although of course some of us do enjoy them.) for younger aces, it’s even harder. we don’t have a large community of our own, and we hardly have any sort of resources. tumblr is a safe haven for many of us. or it could be, but these ppl–these bullies–flood our tags with porn, they track our tags so they can hijack our posts, they flood our inboxes and DMS with hate, they change their URLs when we block them, so they can keep harassing us. they aren’t that easy to ignore.
this isn’t like fandom hate, or at least most of what i’ve seen. this is attacking on an even more personal fundamental level.
so yeah, make fun of the discourse. it’s easy, it’s fun, i do it too. but i just want u all to be aware of what it actually is. it’s not just dumb cake memes or “maybe the gay people are the real homophobes.” it’s harassment, it’s erasure, it’s hate.
Even if you’re unemployed, even if you’re taking time off from school, even if nobody is calling and making plans with you, get out of bed, take a shower, put on clean clothes, wear some cologne or perfume, turn all the lights on, do some laundry, clean up a little bit.
Doing all this stuff causes a shift in your perspective. Do it in spite of your situation.
That’s the only way to create sustainable happiness, because if your behavior is dictated by your circumstances, you’re always going to be miserable.
Don’t let the world determine your mindset. Let your mindset determine how you view the world.
This is the most neurotypical shit I’ve ever read
Diagnosed bipolar and major depressive to the point I had to be hospitalized for it but fuck me for tryna keep it positive nahmean cool copypasta tho hate yall
mentally ill person: *trying to cope and recover in practical, pragmatic ways* someone, inevitably: what kind of neurotypical bullshit is this
a lot of this website has fallen into the trap of equating being pro people who struggle with mental illness with being anti recovery, and even goes so far as to glorify and enable maladaptive symptoms and behaviors. This is a monumentally stupid idea. Illnesses and disorders are called that for a reason. They are not Cake and Happy Funtimes. They make you miserable, they make the people around you miserable, and everything sucks.
Posts that say “Keep trying to do this thing, even when you struggle with it,” are saying that for a reason. It’s fighting back against the illness, refusing to let it claim you. Yeah, it’s hard! Yeah, it sucks! Yeah, it’s okay for you to take a break if you need to! Yeah, it’s perfectly fine if you can’t do it alone and need to ask for help! Sometimes lots of help! But keep fighting. Keep resisting. It’s your life at stake.
NIKOLA TESLA IS SUPER ADORABLE HE’S JUST WANDERING AROUND AND HIDING UNDER THINGS I’M GONNA SQUEAL
I should probably specify that Nikola Tesla is a cat and Serbian-American inventor Nikola Tesla is not wandering around my house hiding under things because he is dead
I like the implication that if he were not dead he probably would be wandering around your house hiding under things
When trans people headcanon characters as trans or autistic people headcanon characters as autistic etc people are always like “stop inserting yourself into characters!! Stop acting like you need to make them all like you!!” Like honestly stop having double standards literally everyone projects themselves onto their favorite characters. Everyone. If you have a favorite character you are going to want to imagine that they are like you.
It’s just bullshit way of saying “I don’t want these characters to be like you” and that’s already petty as hell because other people’s headcanons are not hurting you and you have no reason to agree that a character is trans or autistic or bi or whatever but it’s also transparently bigoted considering they don’t say this to people whose headcanons for characters aren’t marginalized identities. They don’t say that when a white person headcanons a character white. They don’t say that when a straight person headcanons a character as straight.
Everyone projects themselves onto fictional characters and everyone likes to imagine their favorite characters are like them ur not fooling anyone with this shitty argument
- constantly think and fantasize about sex
- have kinks that disgust or scare them
- have sexual fantasies that disgust or scare them
- have sexual intrusive thoughts and impulses that disgust or scare them
- engage in unsafe, dangerous, or demeaning sex
- have sex with complete strangers
- use sex to escape bad situations or their emotions
- base their self worth off their sex appeal or sexual availability
- use sex as a form of self harm
- have sex with a person or gender they’re not attracted to
- are scared to talk to anyone about their hypersexuality
And here’s a special shoutout to LGBT+ hypersexuals who are told that their gender or sexuality caused their hypersexuality, or who are told that they can’t be hypersexual because of their gender or sexuality (this especially applies to a-spec people).
Hypersexuality is not disgusting or wrong or shameful. Your thoughts, impulses, and urges don’t make you a bad person and they don’t define you.
