“real life doesnt have trigger warnings” imagine supermarkets taking all of the allergy warnings off of all of the foods and then being like “sorry sweetie, welcome to the real world (:” when everyone started going into anaphylactic shock
Or movies stop having previews or ratings and 5 year olds are crying in Quentin Tarantino movies and their parents are saying “time to grow up (:”
i always know when a fic writer has never experienced a hickey
How? It’s not like you’ve experienced one either.
“[Character A] licked and nibbled [Character B]’s collarbone, leaving dark purple spots along the way.”
either they’re tossing away the meaning of “nibbled” for the advancement of smut or they have a solid misunderstanding of hickeys. it takes like four or five straight seconds of hard suction to make a spot “dark purple”.
okay so two options here:
“[Character A] licked and nibbled [Character B]’s collarbone, leaving faint pink spots along the way.”
OR (and this one is better imo)
“[character A] sucked on the skin of [character B]’s collarbone harder than a vacuum on high power, leaving behind appropriately dark purple hickeys”
“[Character A] puckered their lips and absolutely Hoover™’d the life out of [Character B]’s entire neck. ‘You DirtDevil™’ [Character B] said with a breathy sigh.”
terrifying monstrosity: who could possibly love me when I am a terrifying monstrosity me, stretched out on the table in front of them with a rose between my teeth: well
so who else is in the mood to run off to a series of small, interconnected caves with me, and be cave neighbors for the next ten years,
cons: we wont know about any new memes
pros: we make our own cave neighbor memes about the bugs we see doin weird shit and that one cave that leaks when it rains except we can’t find the hole it’s leaking through
cave memes i’m submitting for your consideration:
*aiming hunting implements at anything that isn’t a bird* this bird is gonna be delicious
personifying rocks, constnatly,
“my digging skills are delightful, which you would know, if you ever bothered to know me the way you know your beetles”
throw the stone, Maurice.
one of our cave neighbors is a geologist. they know the names of all the kinds of rocks. the rest of us mispronounce them constantly on purpose and correct each other’s pronunciation with even more wrong ones.
making up elaborate insults towards bugs, and saying them, to the bugs
the implications of Ji-won’s moss beds (the joke is nobody can ever agree on the implications)
mushrooms in places they dont belong
yelling “hhchruckkkk!” in a high-pitched voice, several times in a row, whenever
“the best tasting dirt comes from Jamal’s cave”
worm disco
feel free to submit your own cave memes
these are some of the best memes ive seen all year in all honestly
Okay but what’s even more badass about Teen Vogue is that the editor in chief is a black woman. Her name is Elaine Welteroth and she is the second black woman to hold this title within the company and is also the youngest. So expect some more ugly truths to be told with Teen Vogue because they are not fucking around. There will be no sugar coating with them, there will be no “giving trump a second chance”, the editor-in-chief is a black woman and she will make sure this particular media outlet spits the truth.
In ancient Greece (469 – 399 BC), Socrates was widely lauded for his wisdom. One day an acquaintance ran up to him excitedly and said, “Socrates, do you know what I just heard about Diogenes?”
“Wait a moment,” Socrates replied, “Before you tell me I’d like you to pass a little test. It’s called the Triple Filter Test.”
“Triple filter?” asked the acquaintance.
“That’s right,” Socrates continued, “Before you talk to me about Diogenes let’s take a moment to filter what you’re going to say. The first filter is Truth. Have you made absolutely sure that what you are about to tell me is true?”
“No,” the man said, “Actually, I just heard about it.”
“All right,” said Socrates, “So you don’t really know if it’s true or not. Now let’s try the second filter, the filter of Goodness. Is what you are about to tell me about Diogenes something good?”
“No, on the contrary…”
“So,” Socrates continued, “You want to tell me something about Diogenes that may be bad, even though you’re not certain it’s true?”
The man shrugged, a little embarrassed. Socrates continued, “You may still pass the test though, because there is a third filter, the filter of Usefulness. Is what you want to tell me about Diogenes going to be useful to me?”
“No, not really.”
“Well,” concluded Socrates, “If what you want to tell me is neither True nor Good nor even Useful, why tell it to me or anyone at all?”
The man was bewildered and ashamed. This is an example of why Socrates was a great philosopher and held in such high esteem.
It also explains why Socrates never found out that Diogenes was banging his wife.
